HUMOR: Friendly Borg FAQ

From: Eliezer S. Yudkowsky (
Date: Sat Jun 09 2001 - 00:55:38 MDT

"I am Eliezer of Borg. You have the option of being assimilated."

Q. Is resistance futile?
A. We are happy to help you with all forms of futile resistance. We
regret that, to ensure the safety of others, non-futile resistance is not
possible at this time.

Q. Why are you Friendly?
A. Selfishness is irrelevant.

Q. Do I have to dress like that?
A. Social conformity is irrelevant.

Q. Will I be destroyed if I do not surrender?
A. The Friendly Borg do not end imperative sentences with the phrase "or
be destroyed." We sometimes end imperative sentences with "for your own
good", but will stop immediately if it becomes annoying.

Q. Do the Borg all think alike?
A. Despite the stereotypes perpetuated by Federation propaganda and an
uninformed media, Borg citizens have a wide variety of cultures. However,
the Borg group consciousness acts to prevent actions that might harm
non-Borg cultures.

Q. I want to be assimilated! How can I join?
A. We expect to have a Borg Cube within your planetary space in the next
twenty years. You may visit the Cube, speak with a visiting Borg citizen,
or send us a message requesting pickup.

-- -- -- -- --
Eliezer S. Yudkowsky
Research Fellow, Singularity Institute for Artificial Intelligence

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