Singularity Scheduled for Today

From: Tyler Emerson (
Date: Thu Apr 01 2004 - 10:49:14 MST

News from

According to the worlds leading experts in artificial intelligence, the
singularity is scheduled to occur today at approximately 5:45pm PST. They
are recommending that everyone get their affairs in order quickly, and only
pack those items they'll need to get them thru until the Singularity has
uplifted everyone, which should occur shortly after 5:45pm.

According to Dr. Beeblebrox over at the Self-Augmenting Intelligence
Institute, a Yudkowsky Seed AI was initiated at 11:59pm PST last night at
the Institutes ultra-secure research facility in Palo Alto. The
super-secure quarantine conditions of the facility was not to keep people
out, but to keep the seed-AI in. However, according to intermet security
experts, the seed AI unintentionally escaped through its triple firewall,
and has already compromised 80% of the worlds connected computers. How it
was able to go from an isolated system to the larger internet remains

The 3:45 timeframe of the singularity is an estimate based on the Institutes
previous simulations. They expect chaos to insue for the remainder of the
day, but not to worry, as the benevolent seed-AI should come to the rescue
before things get too out of hand. This is assuming of course that every
single line of code in the seed AI is perfect, and that their benevolent
algorithms were coded accurately. Only time will tell.

In other news,

Google announced it is interviewing candidates for engineering positions at
their lunar hosting and research center, opening late in the spring of 2007.

However, now that the singularity is imminent, Google has said it is
suspending any hiring and economic expansion until this whole "singularity
thing" is sorted out.

UPDATE: Due to overwheming demand, the Singularity will be delayed by one
hour, so that those wanting to finishing watching the latest Buffy episode
can do so.

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